Some thoughts on my adoption story......

Since I am adopted, my attention is often caught by news stories about adoption. I know many have their own opinion on the topic...this is just mine.

The article I was reading in the OC Register stated:

Unmarried girls who found themselves with child some 40 or 50 years ago were always reassured that adoption was the best course.

Babies were given to loving parents unable to have their own children.

Everyone will be content, said social workers in the mid-20th century.

But life doesn't always work out the way the experts predict.

"The adoption experience makes development of a sense of self, the ability to understand 'Who am I?' very difficult," says Joey Nesler, a Newport Beach psychotherapist.

Nesler, who was a adopted as a baby, has built her career on working with birth parents who gave up children for adoption, adoptive parents and the adoptees themselves.

"It's difficult in later life," she says. "It's a challenge to know who you are."

I read that opening again...and questioned myself. Do I know who I am? As being adopted made that difficult???

It's not so much that I disagree with the line of thought, but perhaps my experience is not the norm. I am well aware of who I am and have never felt confused about that.

However, further in the article it reads:

Q: Do adult adoptees come to you to work out these specific problems?

A: People – usually in their late 40s and 50s – usually say their adoption was a great experience. They say they are coming for other reasons, such as depression, problems with their career.

Once they are in therapy, they discover what's causing their trouble is abandonment, no sense of where they came from or who they were.

Hmmmmmm.... that is interesting. I am 38, so a bit younger than the age group mentioned. Maybe that's why I haven't sensed a dread of abandonment. If it were me analyzing myself (ha).... I'd have to say that rather than fearing abandonment, I just avoid that feeling altogether by not allowing myself to get too close to people or to trust them.

That is eerie. lol

I wonder if it's because I fear being abandoned...or just because I think that only a rare few people are actually trustworthy. Most folks are just in it for what they can get out of it...users. I generally feel that they have an ulterior motive. They have generally proven this true.

So...is it because I was adopted that I feel this way...or are people just self-interested jerks (by and large) who would eat their grandma if it enriched them.

..........